Blog: Erato

Voila!

Entitled "Erato" (after the Muse of love/erotic lyrical poetry whom I encountered during my time in Spain)

The cover is an appropriately constructed heart composed of a particular species of butterfly. I chose the butterfly for the idea of the ever-changing transformation of love that is experienced in life which I tried to incorporate from the beginning (with Riverflow being the infinite cycle of the love for a newborn as the child who ends up the parent) to the end (with Keep Those Keys being love that will last long in memories after we leave).

In retrospect, it feels like a lot like all the emotional lyricism is finally out of my system after finishing this. Not to say I won't approach this subject of feelings for others and love and such again but I'm ready to tackle other ridiculous/important ideas to write about that came flooding at me the moment I finished. It was refreshing, really. 

I hope you enjoy. I had a great deal of fun writing them over the last six months.

1 / Riverflow

I woke to see you there
Holding me tightly, holding me close
Only moments I've been here
But with you, it already feels like home

You brought me bliss
So passionate
It flows like rivers
Kind and vigorous

As years pass, it's now clear
What it all meant, I've felt it grow
Treated me with such care
I may not show it but I hope you know

You brought me bliss
So passionate
It flows like rivers
Kind and vigorous

Anticipation swallows me
Waiting for my own to bring home
Suddenly, I see you wake
And I melt and it all just flows

You brought me bliss
So passionate
It flows like rivers
Kind and vigorous

You wake to see me there
Holding you tight, holding you close
Only moments you've been here
But someday you'll know, someday you'll know

2 / The Star

There's an angel I've seen
Covered in a veil I can't describe
Riding on chariots
Right up to gates of heaven's eyes
The gate opens wide on this night
And I see you waiting there inside

How in the blink of an eye
Can I suddenly find
You helping me fight all these demons?
How in the blink of an eye
Can I suddenly find
You forming a peace that I've needed?

I've lived fantasies
Where I suddenly wake up in fright
Walking this treacherous hall
Where nightmares take my fears and thrive
Then you grab my hand and whisper
Soothing me while shadows wither

How in the blink of an eye
Did you settle me down?
Calming squalls of rage with soothing seas
How in the blink of an eye
Did you make me feel
Like a star is forming and is shining on me?

3 / Through The Eyes

This little boy holds out hope
Playing with his toys at home
On school nights, thinks of her though
Not knowing she'd like to know, no
This little boy keeps inside
Dreams of holding her hand so tight
He'll protect her when evil strikes
But he hasn't told her, no

He's trying to tell her
But a thousand words aren't there
But he's raising his heart
Up so high so it's made clear
He's trying to show her
What these twisting, teasing feelings mean
Through the eyes of a child screaming
"Be mine, please"

This little girl still doesn't get
Messing around with make-up sets
Just to get him to notice yet
He already did but she don't know, no
This little girl talks to all her friends
Dreams of wearing a big ol' dress
As he stands tall and gives her a kiss
But she hasn't told him, no

She's trying to tell him
But a thousand words aren't there
But she's raising her heart
Up so high so it's made clear
She's trying to show him
What these twisting, teasing feelings mean
Through the eyes of a child screaming
"Be mine, please"

Remember days like these
When we felt weak knees
Like we couldn't breathe
We were barely thirteen
It might not have made sense
But it sure felt intense
Decades later, we're still kids
Knees get weak and we're a mess

Trying to tell each other
But a thousand words aren't there
And raising that heart
Up so high so it's made clear
Trying to show each other
What these twisting, teasing feelings mean
Through the eyes of a child screaming
"Be mine, please"

Through the eyes of a child screaming
"Be mine, please"

4 / Arrows From The Sky

Lived my life inside windowpanes
Locked up in this fortress, keeps me safe
Afraid to walk out on my own
History hasn't been kind, quite cold
But I've seen you across the way
Seeming vulnerable and unafraid
All I thought was if you'd be okay
'Cause I don't have what it takes

The truth is I can't bring down these walls
And as many have tried, they just grow more tall
But there's something about you
Something about you

Woke up to daylight peeking inside
As if to whisper 'Take a look outside'
I heard screaming, couldn't imagine
I was expecting to see all sorts of damage
But there you were, across the way
Shouting in delight, "What a day!"
All I thought was how you were okay
And if maybe I have what it takes

The truth is I can't bring down these walls
And as many have tried, they just grow more tall
But there's something about you
Something about you

The truth is I have just been so afraid
This fortress I've built was meant to keep me safe
But there's something you've shown me
Something you've shown me
Maybe it's time I leave

With arrows falling from the sky
Aimed at my heart, ready to strike
As they come, I want to think twice
But I'll stand here, ready to survive

The truth is I have just been so afraid
This fortress I've built was meant to keep me safe
But there's something you've shown me
Something you've shown me

It's time to open every single gate
Let these insecurities try and shake my faith
Amazing one could feel this strong
Amazing it took me so long

But there was something about you
Something about you

5 / Waltz #3

It seems I've discovered something
Each time you're wrapped in my arms
It feels just like Christmas morning
More surprises for my heart
But I haven't shown it yet
So watch me shout it out instead
Like a fool who wants this now
If that's not enough, then come out
And

Dance with me
Out on these streets
See what I mean
I dare you to want to walk
Dance with me
Just move your feet
Out on these streets
Where we'll waltz until we fall

See you twirling and twisting
Your dress flows with such delight
With spotlights overhead bringing
Clarity on us tonight
Maybe you don't think you're cut out
But I'll melt away those doubts
'Cause this fool wants you right now
If that's not enough, then come now
And

Dance with me
Out on these streets
See what I mean
I dare you to want to walk

It's so far past midnight
Fatigue's nowhere to be found
Floating on such a high
Suspended up above the ground
Trading stares and glances
No words are needed right now
So we'll just keep on dancing
And we'll waltz until we fall

So we'll just keep on dancing
And we'll waltz until we fall

Dance with me
Out on these streets
See what I mean
I dare you to want to walk
Dance with me
Just move your feet
Out on these streets
Where we'll waltz until we fall

6 / WWYD?

Shut my eyes to hear your voice
There has never really been a choice
I must focus or we'll stray
We've been patient for other ways
And we've been happy for so long
But we've grown tired of this con
I want to listen for one day
But what's the price we'd pay?

'Cause if a man came with a remedy
Said he could ease these doubts we keep
Said I could hear things only heard in dreams
Said it could ease the tension when we speak
But said something would change
Your voice wouldn't sound the same
I want to listen for one day
But is that the price we'd pay?

That voice of yours that puts me to ease
Tucks away the tension, lulls to me to sleep
Is it shallow to think "I liked it better before"
For wanting to hear your voice in its true form?

Without eyes, you try and see my face
You envision me inside each day
You must focus just to feel me through
In your darkness, it's not easy to
And we've been happy for so long
But we've grown tired of this con
You want to see me for one day
But what's the price we'd pay?

'Cause if a man came with a remedy
Said he could ease the doubts we keep
Said you could see things only seen in dreams
Nothing to hold you from running free 
But said that things would change
My face wouldn't look the same
You want to see me for just one day
But what's the price we'd pay?

That face of mine that you envisioned
Turned out be wrong, misprecision
Is it shallow to think "I liked it better before"
For wanting to see my face in its true form?

'Cause if a man came with a remedy
What's the price we'd pay?
Living inside the con, we've been happy
But we want to be normal for one day
'Cause if a man came with a remedy
I don't know what I'd say
'Cause if a man came with a remedy
Would we keep it all the same?

7 / Midnight Walk

As I bathe myself in twilight
I rest against these sinking grains
Your words cycle through my mind
Sounds of abuse, I don't know what to do

So I'm hoping
The sun can dry those tears
And I'm hoping
The ocean air can lift my fears
So I take a single breath to get up and stand again
But my body's never felt this cold

As I stand and walk this fine line
That divides the choices that I made
I want to travel back through time
But it's no use, there are things you can't undo

So I'm hoping
That time can heal these wounds
And I'm hoping
The comfort of home might do
So I take a single breath and take a step on street cement
But my feet have never felt this cold

So I'm hoping
One day we'll make amends
And I'm hoping
My words can bring an end
So I take a single breath, pick up the phone and listen in
But your silence never felt this cold

So I take a single breath, speak my piece towards heart's content
Hoping your warmth returns and ends this cold

8 / Strawberry Sunrise

You wanted this with gentle colors
A soothing surrounding for lovers
Set to a morning breeze
With a marvelous scene

In my mind, was a portrait of our fate
But as time had passed, the texture fades
And as lights dimmed, you had walked away
Tossing me old trinkets of lover's faith
I envisioned leaps and bounds ahead
Before remembering to take one step
And as lights dimmed, you turned your face
So I grab your arm to hear me say

Let me paint this with gentle colors
A soothing beginning for lovers
Set to a morning breeze, bring some cover
'Cause we're gathering under this
Strawberry sunrise
No more sunsets, only this
Strawberry sunrise

I recognize that we've had better days
As the friction in the air brings rain
Such waterfalls acting like brushstrokes
Trying to drown us, strip us whole
But I pictured us with acrylic paint
So the love we made won't wash away
Sure enough, the storm's now passed
The stage is set for desires we've had

So let's paint this with gentle colors
A soothing surrounding for lovers
Set to a morning breeze, bring some cover
'Cause we're gathering under this
Strawberry sunrise
No more rainstorms, only this
Strawberry sunrise

Huddled up in warmth under blanket sheets
We're protected from this morning breeze
Mumbling sweet nothings on a mild pace
Sometimes it's wise to relax, love is not a race

So let's gather under this
Strawberry sunrise
No more sunsets, only this
Strawberry sunrise
No more rainstorms, only this
Strawberry sunrise
Such a marvelous scene under this
Strawberry sunrise

9 / Rose-Filled Memories

Hand in hand, walking on soft terrain
Sinking in the joy of everything we've faced
Evidence of past battles need not survive
We ready our future, leave the rest behind

'Cause with these rose-filled memories
Filling up our lungs with peace
It's so easy to breathe
It's so easy to see
It's so easy to see

Hand in hand, riding the wind tonight
Out of control like paper planes in flight
But it's this comfort when we're side by side
I embrace our future, leave the rest behind

'Cause with these rose-filled memories
Filling up our lungs with peace
It's so easy to breathe
It's so easy to see
That as long as we're not far apart
We'll march forward, just hold my arm
And we'll live happily
Yeah, we'll live happily

Hand in hand, we are charging through
We've endured enough of what we need to
We're focused and ready, we've arrived
Right at our future, left the rest behind

'Cause with these rose-filled memories
Filling up our lungs with peace
It's so easy to breathe
It's so easy to see
That as long as we're not far apart
We'll march forward, just hold my arm
And we'll live happily
Yeah, we'll live happily

'Cause with these rose-filled memories
Calming all our fears with ease
It's easy to see
We'll live happily

10 / Eiphnh

These thin strips of memories roll right through my hands
Each moment's like a grain trapped in an hourglass

Trespassing through these rusted locks
I find myself in a treasury of memories
Wondering to myself how it is we got
To where we are, what a wild journey

So we take one
Just to keep close when it gets tough
Take another
To remind me of all the love

These thin strips of memories roll right through my hands
Each moment's like a grain trapped in an hourglass
And with every passing frame, I understand
We can't take it for granted, better make this last

So we'll trespass through each country
Let's fill that treasury until it falls
With monuments and cities, such history
Makes me want to record it all

So we take one
Raising my hands in victory
Take another
To remind me this is all we need

These thin strips of memories roll right through my hands
Each moment's like a grain trapped in an hourglass
And with every passing frame, I embrace what's passed
We can only embrace now as long as we can

So we keep on
Raising my hands in victory
Hourglass be damned
We'll go as long as we can breathe
So we keep on
Filling up that treasury
Until we can't stand
And collapse with a sense of peace

11 / Keep Those Keys

Dear ol' Peter
I'm not who I was years ago
Just a shell of who I was
But they haven't learned to let that go
Not much that I can say
To keep them from hurting nights
Give me the proper way
To tell them that I'll be all right

'Cause I'm not afraid to stay asleep
When angels come to watch us dream
Dear ol' Peter, keep those keys
I know that I've made my peace
Let angels gather strength from me
To spread among those in need
Dear ol' Peter, keep those keys
To open up when I'm asleep

Dear ol' friends
I'm not where you'd like me, no
So don't think of regrets
But what we did when we weren't old
There's not much I can ask
But don't shed tears on my behalf
Give me a proper end
Do what we always did and laugh

'Cause I'm not afraid to stay asleep
When angels come to watch us dream
Dear ol' Peter, keep those keys
I know that I've made my peace
Let angels gather strength from me
To spread among those in need
Dear ol' Peter, keep those keys
To open up when I'm asleep

Laughter acts like a tranquilizer
Soothes all doubts and lifts me higher
The truth is, though, that I feel tired
It's time to rest, time to retire
But pictures drawn before my sleep
I'd like shared with you, keep these
Portraits of my love to ease
The struggle when you think of me

'Cause I'm not afraid to stay asleep
When angels come to watch us dream
Dear ol' Peter, keep those keys
I know that I've made my peace
Let angels gather strength from me
To spread among those in need
Dear ol' Peter, keep those keys
It's time to open up for me

Blog: Por Fin!

At long last, my second project has been finished! It's something I don't think I would've written a few years ago so it's definitely refreshing to see completed, much less attempted.

If you're reading for the first time, welcome! Not much to catch up on but I'll recap:

As 2011 came, I made a conscious effort to push forward with my writing (if you know me closely, you know of it and its horror years ago) and make something purposeful of it. Thus, I decided to create collections (or 'albums') in order to share these publicly with reason and hopefully fulfill me in some way (which it has!).

In February, after doing a lot of organizing, re-writing, and deleting.. I finally had finished composing my first 'album': Onto Savor City

I felt really gratified by it and actually felt confident with a certainty in the quality of my writing for the first time, really. I continued to write and immediately had an idea for what to compose next. It took a long time (for me, anyway) due to other interests and instances (took up running, Europe vacation, employment-related matters) but it is finished and will be shared soon.

As you're able to see when you navigate this page, I have posted lyrics I wanted to share and found interesting and wasn't necessarily going to fit any theme going forward, anyway.

I'm not musically talented or vocally talented but I've messed around on composing actual music to go with all this... but don't hold your breath, ha. There's no expectation to comment or anything but anything you see fit as commentary would be appreciated and I'll answer any question. I hope you enjoy it or find a connection to what you read (which is the goal, really).

Thanks for reading, I hope to keep you around!

Blog: Finish Line

It's sort of ridiculous that I'm so close to the finish line of finishing one particular project (focused, even) and suddenly I find myself having written things completely unrelated and, in turn, distracting me for days. Minds work in mysterious ways.

I was completely intending on having finished what I'm working on back in May... and it's almost August. Whoops! At least, I'm making some serious progress now. (Note: I shall also be attempting to post more often)

To be clear, it has nothing to do with audio versions of Onto Savor City... though I should work on that. It's the vocals I'm truly afraid of. Understanding some people have expressed reassurances and all that, I am still not comfortable yet. I think I need to perform blindfolded. Maybe not seeing a reaction until it's finished will help, ha! Just as crucially important: I need to re-string my guitar.

My library of drafts and related things that mattered to me have withered to a handful of things to review over every once in a while in a singular folder (though, there are folders upon folders of other finished things). It's sort of comforting and astonishing considering that just a year ago that particular library was filled with a load of things.

Maybe a year from now it'll be empty with old ideas. Moving forward with nothing to look back and say I hadn't finished. Wouldn't that be nice?

Day By Day

So Monday's here again
Each one's harder to accept
Not much left in this fridge
And each cold breath costs a cent
Can't clear the doubt and debt
With these pennies I have left
Sunday's sermon's still ahead
Hope this change will last us 'til then

But I know
Intentions aren't good enough
But they don't know
The weight I carry 'cause of love

Wednesday's feeling hotter
Makes it harder to survive
There isn't much for me to say
But 'I'll work damn hard for that dime'
Family's feeling hungry
While we wait to hear some news
That maybe, yeah, just maybe
A paycheck for us is due

But I know
Intentions aren't good enough
And they don't know
The weight I carry with their love
But I know
Desperate wishes aren't good enough
And Lord knows
These broad shoulders won't us last long

Been selling my possessions
All week long but it's all right
'Cause trinkets filled with memories
Only collect dust, just give 'em time
It's Friday as I'm by the phone
'Ring Ring' to my surprise
Word comes that I'm a working schmo
Thank Heavens, I think we'll be all right

But I know
Second chances aren't good enough
But they don't know
What will drive me is their love
But they don't know
What will drive me is their love

Blog: Energy Boost

I'm in class, writing away at a few pieces I've been working on. Funny how some cafe con leche morning after a great run can energize one's mind.

Going to Italy/Spain in the summer with my family. First [immediate] family vacation since I was about eight? Eek. Never had that whole yearly family vacation experience. I can only expect to write A LOT when I'm over there. I'll definitely keep tabs while I'm out there (hopefully).

On that note, I am aspiring to finish another collection before I head my on trip. I'm halfway done, especially with all of today's progress. Always a good feeling. Here's to a speedy finish! *raises nonexistent wine glass*

Blog: Distractions

I have been really trying to write as much as I can the last week or so but these exams have been really eating up my ability to do so. At the very least, I've more or less figured out exactly what I'm after for my next selection and, more importantly, figured out a fresh way of writing

This weekend I'm going to have a good amount of time to myself to decompress from all this excessive studying (even though I'm diligently trying to find work) and I'll sit down on the keyboard to compose some music for Onto Savor City (maybe).

Speaking of older stuff, the post preceding this one is one I wrote for a friend and realized it was more of an anthem for myself and the people around me. Whenever one of us falls, we're alway there to pick each other up. I don't know, seemed nice to me. Wrote it in about 20-30 minutes. It's funny how fast things can be thrown together, flabbergasting really.

Also, check this out whenever you get a chance. Awesome stuff for old-school gamers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEjoz9egJDs

Brotherhood of Hearties

When you're trapped in caverns
That run so deep, you can't feel your face
When you're left this battered
The bruises in your heart feel commonplace
And if this tunnel collapsed
You might find relief underneath debris
But we can't let you do that
We're going to bring you out to breathe

Before the madness came
There were our silly afternoons
Who knew what we were up to?
But we were laughing, so were you
Before the winter came
And left you here feeling this cold
Remember those you've kept close
We'll come marching, we'll bring you home

When you're lost in fields of mines
You're afraid each blast might be the last one
You're reaching right out to the sky
With arms fatigued, hoping for good to come
Until we come from above
Bringing you all the relief you'll need
'Cause we won't let you give up
We're going to bring you out to see

Before the madness came
There were our silly afternoons
Who knew what we were up to?
But we were laughing, so were you
Before the blizzard came
And buried you beneath the cold
Remember those you've kept close
We'll come marching, we'll bring you home
We'll keep you warm

Before the madness came
There were our silly afternoons
Who knew what we were up to?
But we were laughing, so were you
Before all the pain came
And hurt you, left you alone
Remember those you've kept close
We'll come marching, we'll bring you home
We'll keep you warm
We'll keep you warm

Blog: Onto Savor City / Intro

Hello, this is a new thing for me so bare with me.

I've been writing for as long as I can remember and there have been a handful that have seen that through the years. The last few months I've felt comfortable enough to showcase it publicly so here is the ultimate showcasing, I suppose.

I'd consider the 13 postings below my 'debut album' if you want to call it that (links on the right). There are some lyrics there that I've had written for years (Lost Voicemail Message was written five years ago) and some were written just the other day (Below Caviar written approx. a week ago).

'Onto Savor City' is simply a referendum, personally, to continuously march toward that place of imagination and creativity that keeps our minds going, whether at work or in a diary. It's also an anagram of my name. Ha!

I'll continue to post new things as they come to form and 'albums' when I feel a certain collection of lyrics I've written tie in nicely, and possibly (MAYBE, lol) actual audio versions once I figure that part out.

Enjoy what you can, I'm sure not everything is great to everybody but let me know what you may think anyway.

Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope I can keep you around.

1 / Rise & Shine

Walking across this beach shore
All the ocean waves seem to clash then sink
Walking along, I'm wanting more
I want to see the water shaking hands with ink
See them side by side sharing a glass of wine
Telling me that they're enjoying these tides
They're drunk and dancing while the sea life's laughing
Under this bright moon, showing one day we

Can rise, fly above the clouds up high
Help you see the surface flicker from the sky
Yeah, we'll shine deep into the night
We'll help you see we're stars, you and I
Yeah, we can keep our city bright

Walking across this sidewalk
Westward green and northbound red, they fight
Walking along, I find no calm
All the streetlights struggle to synchronize
Then if lightning strikes, bringing them all to life
Turning them as yellow as the moon tonight 
And then the thunder sounds, and you hear the crowds
Cheer under this bright moon, showing one day we

Can rise, fly above the clouds up high
Help you see the surface flicker from the sky
Yeah, we'll shine deep into the night
We'll help you see we're stars, you and I
Yeah, we'll rise, fly above the clouds up high
Help you see the surface flicker from the sky
Yeah, we'll shine deep into the night
We'll help you see we're stars, you and I
Yeah, we can keep our city bright

Walking past the sidewalks, into the beach
I can feel the sand sink right through my feet
Walking past the sidewalks, the city
I can lift skyscrapers, now isn't that silly?
But if you closed your eyes and let the thought breathe
You'd see water and ink mix, and you'd see

Us rise, fly above the clouds up high
Help you see the surface flicker from the sky
Yeah, we'll shine deep into the night
We'll help you see we're stars, you and I
Yeah, we'll rise, fly above the clouds up high
Help you see the surface flicker from the sky
Yeah, we'll shine deep into the night
We'll help you see we're stars, you and I
Yeah, we can keep our city bright

2 / Mountains in the Sea

I see all the paper floating down
But hear whispers touch on the ground
So I stand still, watch in awe
And think "I have never felt this before"
I want to stack sheets next to clouds
Stand up high then knock them down
If only just to hear that sound
And think "If this is what I've missed, I want more"

I want to dive into the deep end
And close my eyes, just listen in
To each movement, to each breath
I want to fly up to the surface
Open my eyes, feeling breathless
Swimming within this bliss

I see the rain trickling today
But hear it tapping on my windowpane
So I sit still, watch amazed
And think "I have never felt this before"
I want to drop mountains in the sea
Or just a penny off the street
If only just to hear it, please
And think "If this is what I've missed, I want more"

I want to dive into the deep end
And close my eyes, just listen in
To each movement, to each breath
I want to fly up to the surface
Open my eyes, feeling breathless
Swimming within this bliss

3 / Faith

We're caught in the crossfire of tragedies that transpire

Beaten to the bone with these tears that never cease fire
We're lost in a daze, enough with this patience
We haven't sought help but we just can't take this
Caution to children who might never see the day
Might never see the confidence flowing down their face
That one day he will return, come back when they've heard
That the foolish battle's over, there has been enough hurt
But they hang onto the thread of a line they were told
Hold onto it through the harsh winds of the cold
While their mothers keep 'em whole, they still feel alone
Can't live with themselves waiting for dad to come home
But all they can do is just sit and wait
For the door to open on a sunny day
But it's been raining for the past three days
And all they can remember are his words in faith

"I love you"
"I love you"
"I'll miss you"
"Don't worry, I'll come back"
They said, "Don't go Dad"
"You'll die, Dad"
He said, "Don't say that"
"Don't worry, I'll come back"

Now let's take a more definite look at our soldiers
Written with the rage that's worn, ripped on their shoulders
Marked with the memories that keep them all warmer
Produced by the power that pushed them into this corner
Caught in the crossfire of leaders being liars
What is there to do when the few don't put out the fire?
What is there to say when we pray when we're all tired?
Looking to the skies above for that love inspired
For that love given to them from their troubled wives
Wrapped, alone, at night in their bed in fright
Tries to keep her eyes dry, hide that fear inside
That something might've happened to him in this fight
But all she can do is just sit and wait
For the door to open on a sunny day
But it's been raining for the past three days
And all she can remember are his words in faith

"I love you"
"I love you"
"I'll miss you"
"Don't worry, I'll come back"
She said, "I'll lose you"
"Don't go, I'll lose you"
He said, "Don't say that"
"Just have faith that one day I'll come back"

So the little children prayed on their knees
"Bring daddy back in one piece, please"
And the lonely wife saw them plead
Embraced them and told them "He's fine. You'll see."
But all they can do is just sit and wait
For the door to open on a sunny day
But it feels like it's been raining all damn day
And all they remember are his words in faith

"I love you"
"I love you"
"I'll miss you"
"Don't worry, I'll come back"
"I love you"
"I'll miss you"
"Don't say that"
"Just have faith that one day I'll come back"